How much can you be ashamed for/of your relative?

A lot. And it fucking hurts.

And it’s awful. Because there is nothing you can do about it, even though you try. For years. You try nice, you try yelling, you try tears, you try love, you try example…And it doesn’t change.

But I will not get used to it. Ever.

I will not get over it. Even though it’s my shame, not theirs, it’s my baggage, as much as I would like to make it theirs. Still, deep down, I blame them.

I am suffering for them being who they are, for the things they have done to me, for the feelings of others they’ve hurt, for my feelings that got hurt. For all the finger-pointing that I’ve got, for all the explanation that I’ve had to do. The explanations in which I had to try to show my disagreement with their actions, yet not disown them.

I belive that we have to be nice to each other, and that in our actions, we have to think about the consequences not only for ourself, but to others.

So people, please, think!


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